The Absolute Bottom 50...

> HALLMARK HOLIDAYS <

  1. VIACOM Day
  2. The Taxman Cometh Day
  3. Abusive Cousins Day
  4. Pork Gristle Appreciation Day
  5. Imperialistic Baby Killers Day
  6. National Secondary Orifice Moisturizing Day
  7. Self-Absorbed Failure Appreciation Day
  8. Christian Brainwashing Day
  9. Trendy Adopted Third World Baby Day
  10. Closeted Mega-Queen Day
  11. Mercilessly Teased Ugly Girl Day
  12. World "Accept My God Or You Die" Day
  13. National Show Some Fucking Manners Day
  14. Breast Feeding on the Subway Month
  15. Passive-Aggressive Custodian Day
  16. Conspicuous Consumption Week
  17. Non-Prescription Cold Remedy Day
  18. Billie Jean King's Birthday
  19. Violent Mongoloid Brother Who Lives In The Attic Day
  20. That Fat Girl's Hot Friend Day
  21. National Close the Post Office Again Day
  22. Drown a Litter of Puppies Day
  23. Overpaid Athletes' Day
  24. Mafia Appreciation Day
  25. 7-11 Night Managers' Day
  26. Pudgy Medievalists' Day
  27. Cat Lovers' Widdle Pussy Wussy Day
  28. Ethnic Stereotypes Day
  29. Bureaucrats Drunk on Power Week
  30. Bald Dudes in Leather Day
  31. Velvet Wiccan Day
  32. Roy Scheider Appreciation Day
  33. People Who Are Called Heroes But Are Really Victims Day
  34. Greeting Card Day
  35. Plushies Awareness Week
  36. Monstrous Dimpled Thighs Day
  37. The Day After Valentine's Day Day
  38. Office Nemesis Day
  39. Take Our Necrotic Testicles To Work Day
  40. Cinco de Mayonnaise
  41. Feast of the Parasites
  42. Shoplifter Pride Day
  43. All Druids' Day
  44. Celebration of the Isosceles Triangle
  45. Root Canal Unawareness Day
  46. International Prune Festival
  47. Playtex Living Girdle Day
  48. Unbearably Narcissistic Children's Day
  49. You're Just Like Your Worthless Father Day
  50. Christmas II