CHICKENHEAD is defunct. Its loathsome creators have long since gone on to stealthily pollute pop culture at sundry mass media magazines, TV networks, and yes, other pitifully insipid websites. This stripped-down archive of stale, offensive, late-90s juvenilia will remain online until such time as... it's not.
Feature Archive
FRAT BEAT: The Fraternity Living Magazine Animal Defense Militia
BABY REVIEW: The Infant Assessment Journal National Rifle Association KOOKY KIDS KORNER!
Sex Is For Fags: Abstinence-Only For Boys IRON HYMEN: Abstinence-Only For Girls
» Absolute Bottom 50
Lists upon lists of the unimaginably horrible.
» Instant Outrage
Disgorge clichéd identity politics screeds - free!
» The Rev. Jerry Falwell
Is absolutely, positively NOT A HOMOSEXUAL!
» Dick Cheney Gun Club
Hunting with the Veep is always a total BLAST!
» Cheapie Creepy Masks!
Printable costumes for neo-Satanic autumnal fun.
» Stopid Burnet Jokes
Proud blonde Kim Nerbak dishes brutal payback.
» Punished by GOD!
Seven deadly sins yield seven deformed sinners.
» Dear John Letters
Compose your very own with this swell generator.
» Elephant Man Stand-Up
Crazy man John Merrick serves up the chuckles.
» The Cosmic Peephole!
Tap into Dionne Warwick's powers of ultra-voyeurism.
» Got Milk? REJECTS
Ads TOO HOT for the U.S. Dairy Association.
» Iwon Mike Vawentines!
Vewy speciawl wetters fwom Mike Tyson.
» Santa Letter Generator
Beg the fat man with this nifty techno-doodad.
» Instant Bureaucracy!
Emulate the lifestyle of a ladder-climbing automaton.
» RAD Spells & Curses
From Mistress Raven: bound concubine of SATAN!
» Loserscopes
From unemployed astrology hobbyist Pam Heffernin.
» Comic Strip Pictures & words COMBINED to mirthful effect. LOL!
» Kitty Gone to Heaven
The widow Ester Brimley eulogizes a bevy of felines.
» Teen Poetry Corner
An explosion of pubescent literary adventure.
» Humbert Humbert STAR TALK Dishing with ripe Olsen morsels
» Pork: The Other Ads
Astonishingly appetizing interweb advertisements.
» The Erudite Laborer
His poetic catcalls set lady pedestrians' loins ablaze.
» Campus Bulletin Board
Print 'em. Post 'em. Watch blessed chaos unfold.
» Vomitorium Crockery Skeletal temptress Kate Moss knows tons and tons.
» Virtual Housecalls
The Internet MD serves up sound medical diagnoses.
» Office Fun Signs Sow neato workplace scandal and acrimony!
» Instant Oscar Speeches
Courtesy of the Academy Award Speech Generator.
Hip, "edgy" prayers crackling with attitude!
» The Wrath of Brad!
Interstellar woe be upon his heartless tormentors.
» World of Sweaters!
A poetic tribute from the handsome brothers Kriegel.
» Teen Movie Pitches
Generate your own - just like a Hollywood big shot.
» Jack McCracken FIGHTS DIRTY! He takes the bully olympics gold!
» Andy Rooney's "TOO HOT FOR TV!" CBS' Mr. Cranky – UNCENSORED!
» The Disciplinary Nanny
Bringing Traditionalist Chic to Professional Child Care.
» Jerry Garcia Autopsy A way special look at the rockingest autopsy ever.
» Geriatric Erotica
Elder-romances so naughty, they're bound in leather.
» Cheerleader Epiphanies
Earth-shattering thoughts from Sue-Jane Kruxler.
» Frat Beat The radical zine that's got college Greeks totally pumped!
» Chia Puberty Charming marble figurines capture the magic of puberty.
» Postal Proposals
Miss Peggy reaches out to super-dreamy hunkazoids.
» Vatican Teen These kids are putting the "I can!" back in Vat-i-can!
» Church of Satan Picnic Planner For practioners of open-air ritual feasting.
» Newspeak Monologues Clinton-era doubleplus ha-ha from TV's Jay Leno